Anonymous asked: CH 13?! it's been over a month! D:
aw man i’m sooo sorry! i’m working full time at the moment so it’s hard to get anything done :(
aw man i’m sooo sorry! i’m working full time at the moment so it’s hard to get anything done :(
“I have to go soon, I can’t talk long. Alright?” I said quickly and firmly, watching every move he made as he spoke quietly. I took after him, I could see similarities between us. He touched his forehead in the same way I did when I explain myself. He has a habit of rubbing his fingers past his nose when he spoke. Like I did. We had the same eyes, the same smile - I was definitely my father’s daughter. I hated the thought of that, because as far as I was concerned, I had no father. I had my mother, my best friends and their parents. That was it. I didn’t need anyone else.
“About yesterday. I don’t blame you if you reported me. I don’t blame your friends for wanting to come after me. Not after that.”
I let him continue talking, unable to say a word.
“When I left you and your mother, it wasn’t long before I lost my job. Katie..” I cringed when he said her name. “She helped me, she had connections to powerful people and managed to get me a new job. Eventually I made my way up to the top.. I was the CEO at the local building company.” He sighed and glanced at me out of the corner of his eye, my face remaining emotionless.
“The pressure was incredible. It was a stressful job, and I ended up drinking all the time, just to get rid of all the stress. Every weekend I’d be drinking just to take my mind off of all the shit work put on my shoulders. The harder my job got, the heavier my drinking became. Then the problems started rolling in. Coming into the office hungover, money was disappearing, Katie was off every night doing God knows what. People noticed, so I was fired on the spot. When she found out I lost the job - the job that provided us with all our money, she left me. So then, I was unemployed, alone, and a serious alcoholic. I got so depressed, I didn’t know what to do with myself anymore. One of my mates told me that smoking pot would help the depression, and at that point .. I didn’t give a flying fuck what happened to me, so I took up drugs. At first it was just the marijuana, then .. I fell into cocaine.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. The man that raised me, that I looked up to as a child .. left us and ended up with this? I didn’t want to hear any more, but I couldn’t bring myself to get up and leave. I needed to hear the rest, regardless of the fact that I didn’t want to.
“Anyway, in March last year I OD’d and ended up in hospital for a week. That was my wake up call - I didn’t want my drug habit to be what killed me. So I sold the house I lived in with Katie, took my car and everything I had and went to rehab, stayed there for almost a year getting clean. After I got out, I wanted to fix everything, so I went to see your grandparents and stayed with them for a while. Everything was great. But I hadn’t forgotten about you, and I wanted to see how my little girl had grown up. I regret leaving you the way I did and I wanted to have you back in my life.. Then I heard about the accident, and I was desperate to see for myself that you were okay. I guess I used the accident as an excuse to come and see you. I knew coming back wouldn’t be easy, God Val, you made it the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I don’t blame you. I don’t blame you. Seeing my only child look at me the way you did, like I was the most hated person alive, I couldn’t take it. So I relapsed. I got my hands on some cocaine and let myself go. I don’t have to explain to you what that did to me. You know that shit does crazy things to people. I know that doesn’t fix how I hurt you yesterday, but just know that I am sorry.”
I began to cry again, but I didn’t know what I felt. Hearing everything that he’d told me .. Was so overwhelming, too overwhelming for one morning. I remained silent, refusing to speak. I was speechless, but it wasn’t long before he spoke again.
“That boyfriend of yours looks like a keeper.. I’m glad you found someone who makes you happy. I don’t think I can anymore.”
I pulled my head up and slowly turned to face him.
“You’re right. He does make me happy. And you … ” I paused to sigh, filling my every word with every emotion running through me. “You .. hurt .. me.”
I turned back away to face the ocean to calm myself again. It took all the strength I had in me not to yell and scream at him. I wanted to hurt him.. As much as he hurt me.
“I’ll leave if you want me to. I gotta get my shit sorted.” He leant forward to put his hand on my shoulder, but he pulled back when I flinched. “I don’t want you to think of me as a bad person, okay?”
“Mm.” Was all I could get out of me.
Dad got up off the sand and began to walk away.
“Take care of yourself Valeria. Hopefully next time I see you .. things will be better for me.”
I turned around, brushing my windswept hair away from my face. I quickly nodded and with that, he left.
I stayed sitting on the beach for a long time before getting up to go back home. I had to contemplate what I’d just heard, and I wasn’t ready to be around everyone just yet.
As I made my way back up the street to the house I saw Bruno sitting with Kenji on the front steps, a lit cigarette sitting in between his fingers. I rolled my eyes as he put it to his mouth; his smoking habit was the only thing that I’d change about him. I didn’t want him to stop for me though, I wanted him to stop for himself, so I wasn’t gonna make him quit anytime soon. When he saw me walking towards them, he stood up and held his arms out wide to hug me. Kenji smiled at me, pat Bruno on the back and walked inside, closing the door behind him. Bruno kissed the top of my head and tightened his grip on me before letting go and looking at me in the eye.
“You alright babe?” He said, a comforting smile creeping across his face. I hugged him back and nodded, my head against his chest, his touch eliminating the urge I had to cry.
“Whats the time?” I asked, curious to know how long I’d been away. He pulled out his phone and turned it toward my face. 10.01am. Already? Shit …
Inside, Isabel was rushing around the house, shoving things into her bag. The second she noticed me, she stopped and stared.
“Where the hell have you been?! Come get ready, we’re going down to the police station.” She almost ordered, her face in a state of frenzy. I laughed a little.. She was too mature for her age.. Too organised, too bossy, sometimes I could have sworn she had a stick up her ass.
I stopped her and sat her down on the couch and made my way to the kitchen for breakfast.
“Why?” I said calmly, “No need Iz..”
“But that —”
“Just let it go babe.” I said, almost smiling.
I didn’t trust for a second that Dad would be gone forever, I guessed he’d be back eventually. But for the moment, I felt at ease. There really was something different about him that morning. He seemed genuine, sincere … like he had nothing to hide.
“You feel like going out tonight?” Bruno asked later that night. “I think you deserve a little fun.”
I hadn’t been out in months, not since Isabel’s party. I loved the sound of a night out with my friends - I felt like it was a long time coming..
“That a yes?” He said, looking at the smile that took over my face.
“Mmmhm.” I said, nodding my head quickly in agreement.
“Good, cos I wanna show you something…” He teased, a little twinkle in his eye…
I followed Isabel into the kitchen, who sat herself at the table and picked up an apple out of the fruit bowl. Taking a huge bite, she smiled.
“How was your date?” She said through her mouth full.
I took a deep breath in and smiled, remembering lunch, our non-stop chatter and our walk along the beach. My smile slowly faded as I recalled what happened afterward. I shook it off and this time faked a smile. Isabel saw straight through it. She knew me too well.
She sat up in her seat and looked at me. ”What happened?”
I sat myself on the floor, resting against the wall. I held back the tears this time, I needed to stop crying because of him. I was done with crying over him. I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed as I began to talk…
Isabel’s jaw dropped and her eyes widened as I finished telling her what happened. She slipped off the chair she was sitting on and crawled over to me. Crossing her long legs, she leaned over and grabbed my hands.
“He’ll wish he never fucked with you Val,” she let go of me and clenched her fists so tightly, her biceps flexed. “I wanted to tell you, he came over here today.. He was looking for you.”
I swung my head around to face her, holding my breath.
“I had no idea where you guys where. And even if I did.. I wouldn’t have let him cut in on your date. But I had no idea he was so screwed up.. Are you okay?”
I shrugged my shoulders and stood up.
“Where’s Soph?” I asked, trying to change the subject. I didn’t wanna think about it. Wanted it to go away.
Isabel laughed quietly and stood up.
“Hah, Soph.. She’s upstairs, sleeping. She’s had a big afternoon.” She winked and began to walk toward the back door, grabbing a couple wine glasses and a bottle of red on her way out. She turned to me and nodded her head in the direction of the table and chairs outside. I followed her outside onto the deck and let myself fall onto one of the chairs.
“So after the meeting at Motown, I brought Soph with me to meet up with Kenji and the boys at the diner near the label’s office.. Her and Phred hit it off, Val. He couldn’t take her eyes off her.” She laughed excitedly, and let out a big sigh as she poured herself a glass.
I let Isabel’s excited babble continue, sipping on my glass of wine. The night time summer breeze blew through my hair and I swung my legs over the arm of the chair and let my head fall back. I couldn’t stop thinking about it - the image of my father’s raging face circled around my head constantly, and I wanted nothing more than for it to go away. I opened my eyes and circled my thumb around the rim of my glass before knocking back the whole thing like it was water as Isabel continued to talk. I quickly poured myself another full glass and finished it off within seconds, no more attention paid to my excited friend on the other side of the table. Dad’s insane shouting and yelling resonated loudly in my head. He wasn’t even around and he was still driving me to breaking point.
“Val!” I pulled my head back up and turned to see Isabel snapping her fingers at me. I heard Bruno and Kenji’s hysterical laughter coming from the inside, and I let out a deep sigh. At least they’re having fun.. I thought. “Are you even listening?” She said, her head tilted to one side, a look of concern taking over.
I let my gaze on her linger for a while before turning back to my empty glass. Reaching out to the table, I went to grab the bottle. Before I could even get my hands on it, Isabel snatched it away and tucked it firmly under her arm. She furrowed her eyebrows and shook her head.
“You’re not okay babe, you’re —” She stopped mid sentence and watched me abruptly get out of my seat and walk back into the house. I knew what she was gonna say, and I didn’t wanna hear it. I didn’t want help. I didn’t want my mother knowing. I didn’t want the police knowing. I didn’t want what I’d told her to leave the house. I sat at the kitchen table, my head resting in my hands. Isabel followed me inside and hurried to sit on the chair beside me. Taking my hands, she whispered, a hint of desperation in her voice. “Talk to me, okay? If you wont talk to anyone else. Talk to me.”
“No.” It was all I could say. I pushed myself out of the chair and rushed up the stairs, avoiding the boys, who were still sitting on the couch, their eyes glued to the TV screen. I sat at the top of the stairs and pulled my knees to my chest and shut my eyes tight. Isabel let out a heavy sigh before turning the TV off downstairs. She whispered quietly to Bruno and Kenji in the hope that I wouldn’t hear their chatter.
“She needs to talk about this Bruno. She can’t keep it all to herself.”
The only person I wanted to talk to was my mother. I needed her, I needed to hear her warm voice fill me, and tell me that everything was going to be okay. I dragged myself past the loud snores coming from Sophia’s room, and into my room. Slamming the door shut, I collapsed onto my bed and reached into my bag on the floor. Pulling out my phone, I hesitantly made the call.
“Val? Hi baby girl.”
Hearing her voice instantly put me at ease and I took a deep breath in as I told her everything.
The warmth of the sunlight coming through my window woke me early the next morning. I was surprised that I’d slept through the night - I thought for sure I’d be wide awake. I turned my head to see my phone still resting in my open hand and remembered the conversation I’d had with mum just hours ago.
Val, you can’t keep this to yourself and expect it to go away. You have to report him - don’t wait for it to happen again.
My mama’s calming voice filled my head and I began to think she was right. Isabel was right. They were all right.. I had to do something about it. Ma said she’d come over if I wanted her to, but I told her not to worry about making the two hour drive when we weren’t even sure how everything was going to turn out.
I told her … If I need you, I’ll call you. Don’t worry.
I slowly rolled out of bed, still in the same clothes from the day before and quickly changed into a t shirt and black leggings. Pulling my hair into a bun as I tip toed down the stairs, I saw Bruno fast asleep on the couch in the living room. His mouth was wide open, with his little legs hanging over the side, a pillow resting on his stomach. I giggled softly, remembering his body sprawled across my bedroom floor the night after Isabel’s birthday. I shuffled into the kitchen for coffee before coming back to the living room and curling up on the armchair opposite Bruno. Cupping the warm cup in my hands, I looked at my boyfriend sleeping peacefully and I began to think… It was a little scary, thinking about how fast things had happened and how everything was changing. Bruno and I had barely known each other two months and we’d already been through more together than I ever thought I could handle - A car accident the day after we’d met, being assaulted by my father on our first date …
“Boy you’re like my bad luck charm..” I whispered softly in his direction, smiling as he continued to sleep. I wouldn’t have changed a thing though. In the short time that we’d been together, going through what we had caused me to depend on him a lot. Maybe too much. I couldn’t see myself without him anymore - it was .. strange, I was falling for him. Fast. Bruno grumbled quietly, and adjusted his position before falling back into his deep sleep. For that moment, I’d forgotten the past 24 hours and was nothing but happy.
I finished my coffee and looked at the time - 8.15am. Their lazy asses won’t be up for a while.. I thought to myself as I walked toward the door for a quick walk. The crisp morning air was enough to wake me up faster than the coffee could, and I felt a wave of happiness come over me as the beach came into view.
The beach was my most favourite place in the world; it was the one place where I could go and feel truly at peace, no matter what was happening around me. It was somewhere I could go and forget about everything and and just .. relax.
I kicked my shoes off, buried my feet in the sand and let my surroundings take me away. I smiled as I watched an elderly couple walked past with their labrador running in and out of the water. My happiness didn’t last for too long though - I looked up and saw who was walking along the water in the other direction. My body froze and I started to shake as our eyes met. My first instinct was to run. I couldn’t bare to be anywhere near him. I stumbled back up the beach, but stopped when I heard his voice call my name. I reluctantly turned around to look at him.. Something about the way he spoke was different, but I wasn’t about to let my guard down…
I’m so sorry it’s taking so long, it’s been a busy month :( haha. I’m working on it now though.. xo
and you just made my day! :) thank you so much! <3
ahahahaahah! thank yooooou!
thank you!! haha lol, I love that name :D
I’m not sure… I’m sorry! but I just started school again soooo I’m getting really busy atm … but I’m trying to get it done!! x
might be a few days .. I’m sooo busy :\
haha! it’s coming, be patient :)
that’s what I like to hear! lol x
yes I do :) @kathhhhh_
Thank you!! x
wow! thank you so much!! x